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“The size of a man is measured by the size of what makes him angry.” -Anonymous
Every fight you’ve ever had has ended the same way. After expressing your anger and disdain for the other person’s point of view, eventually you let go of the need to be right and actually listened to what the other person had to say. You came off your high horse and admitted your part in the fiasco. And, you started to feel warm feelings toward the other person once again. If it didn’t go down that way, it’s only because the fight isn’t over.
Just because you stopped arguing and “agreed to disagree” doesn’t mean it’s done. You probably have a few fights that have been going on silently for years. Only when you do the listening and owning and forgiving part does the fight really end. So, the question is, how long do you want it to go on? Years? Months? Hours? Or moments? It’s helpful to remember that you can be right, or you can be happy…but you can seldom be both. Try the high road. It’s harder, but infinitely more rewarding.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
This is so true – “You can be right, or you can be happy…but you can seldom be both.”
I’ve personally experienced how holding on to the need to be right for more than a few hours is toxic to our health on every level. Best to move on and choose to limit contact as much as possible with those that insist there way is the only way.
My arguements with my Husband usually don’t involve my need to be right. It involves unwise behaviors on my Husbands end regarding no communication for decisions that need to be made together.
“Sure” you can seldom the both .
You can keep a distance , an edge !
Darlene,
I can empathize with you… are you married to an engineer by chance… Several of my friends all in the medical field are married to Engineers and most act that way… The men say it is a processing thing… I call it avoidance… It is definitely is frustrating… Some how it leaves us with unfinished business and unresolved angry…
Interesting because how does one deal with that, forget forgive and take the high road…That is difficult… In other relationships… I love the high road… It works great…