Last week, I posted a story of one of my clients who faced a painful situation with her soon-to-be husband. I outlined the ten rules of forgiveness I taught her and alluded to the ten steps to letting go, promising to tell you about them here. If you read last weeks post, you’ll also find lots of spirited conversations, mostly with Dave AKA Barking Unicorn, about the spiritual take on forgiveness. Worth a read! Anyway, other points of view notwithstanding, here’s the list I shared with the woman in the story… who, by the way, thanks to the work we did together, is now (as of Saturday) happily married!
- Make a logical assessment…does this REALLY mean what you think it means…and does it matter?
- Take responsibility for your own pain
- Embrace the chance to grow that this offers you
- Take responsibility for discharging the emotional intensity
- Seek a better interpretation of the “infraction”
- Witness the pain with compassion and appreciation
- Affirm the new interpretation
- Seek forgiveness for your intolerance
- Forgive the incident
- NEVER bring it up again (if it comes to mind, that’s YOUR dysfunction, not theirs)
So, dear readers, let me know if any of this confuses you, challenges you, or rubs you the wrong way. The process warrants ongoing discussion, so don’t let it die on the vine. Write me and let’s keep moving, together, towards truth!