I had a rotten weekend. One of my friends who’d been crashing out my house for some time in return for personal assistant services has been in a pretty negative place due to some family issues. He’s not the kind of guy who shares his feelings, so instead he just acts angry and contemptuous of humanity.

Another friend who’s in the midst of relationship problems came up for the weekend and proceeded to get drunk and berate her fiancée in my presence, gradually escalating her irrational tirade to near-violence. Her behavior, while self limiting (ending the next morning when she sobered up) was deeply troubling.

The next morning I awoke with more certainty than I’d had in a long time regarding my personal space. I live a pretty peaceful life, and I don’t have much tolerance for drama and unconsciousness. Being present to both shook me deeply and tainted the serenity of my home.

I sat down that morning with all the key players and told them that I would never again allow that kind of energy into my home; no belittling, no blaming, no disrespecting, no passive aggression, none of it! I could sense the effect of these things on the energy around me, on my emotional state, and even on the way my dog, Woody, behaved. This could not repeat itself.

Once I’d made myself clear (and listened to the apologies and commitments of each person), I sent everyone packing and took a trip to the local New Age bookstore, returning home with incense and sage. I put on Benedictine chants while I performed a cleansing ritual on my space, purifying the energy and banishing the remaining negativity.

I meditated, prayed, and sat still, inviting the emotional backlash to wash away. Only then did I sit down to perform my daily tasks, respond to emails and letters, and write this article.

While my use of ritual may not resonate for you, and you may even see it as New Age foolishness, there’s a point I want to make. That is, it’s important to protect your space. It’s important to create an environment around you that’s calm and serene and empowering. Don’t let others bring their negativity into your environment, and if they do, clear it out as quickly as you can.

I realize that living alone I have the luxury of making my own rules and insisting on certain thing from those I let in. I realize that I’m more sensitive than most people to deviations from the peaceful state I’ve created. Maybe I’m spoiled. But make no mistake; the energy of others does affect your mood and your performance.

Keep Your Space Positive!

If you’re living in a chaotic or conflict-ridden household, it’s keeping you from happiness and success. If you can’t change the situation completely, at least create a sanctuary for yourself. Put your desk and business items in a room where nobody can come in unless you allow it. You can even use a large closet! Once you’ve carved out your space, make it clear to everyone that this is YOUR sacred space. Only allow positive energy in; good music, positive words, images of where you’re going in your life. Never let negativity into that space.

By doing that, you’ll have a place you can go to which soothes and nurtures you. And, if your work is done in that environment, it will take on the positivity of your energy and you’ll be infinitely more effective…and happy…in your work.

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