I’m just thinking out loud here, so this will be one post that demands feedback.

You know how they always say, “We teach what we most need to learn.”? Well, I teach people how to move forward despite the inner voices and feelings that block their way, yet I’ve got one persistent and seemingly impenetrable block of my own, and I find myself cycling around to the same place despite my efforts.

So, I thought I’d take a more systematic approach and do it publicly so hopefully I’d arrive at a solution, and simultaneously others would benefit from the inquiry.

Here’s the setup. I’ve just woken up and I’m daydreaming about this and that. All’s well. I’m calm. Suddenly, a troubling thought arises. It may start with “what if …” and no sooner does that though arise, and I begin to feel a HORRIBLE sinking, fearful feeling. It fills my senses and crowds out any pleasurable feelings from before.

It’s like the feeling you get when you’re on vacation and suddenly realize you’ve left the stove on at home, or that you forgot that you’re supposed to be at your best friend’s wedding. It’s sudden and pervasive and quite capable of completely ruining the moment.

The difference between the above examples and my situation, however, is that mine arises from completely abstract thoughts alone. There is no stove, no wedding; nothing to overtly fix. It’s more like my mind has decided to throw me into despair so it makes something up. “What if you get a song stuck in your head and it won’t leave?” “What if you stop liking the woman you’ve just slept with?” “What if you go crazy?” “What if you get stuck thinking ‘what if’?”

Yes, I know it sounds insane. Am I alone in this? If anybody else can relate to this, I’d sure like to hear from you!

Once established, I find that it’s almost impossible to reestablish my equilibrium. That one thought and the efforts to move past it can lock me out of any good feelings for quite some time. If it involves someone else, it’s almost impossible to generate any positive feelings towards them, and the relationship suffers; not because of what’s happening in the relationship but only what’s happening in my head and emotional body.

So, I’d like to lay out the strategies I’ve tried, and then in subsequent blogs explore the consequences of each choice from my personal experience.

If you have a choice you don’t see on this list, let me know what it is and I’ll explore that one too. If you have an opinion about which choice has worked for you and would like to share your wisdom with the rest of us, that would be terrific. Just add a comment at the end of the blog.

Here’s the list:

1. Ignore it.

2. Try to combat the feeling by thinking of something more pleasant.

3. Try to reason with it.

4. Just witness the pain until it dissolves.

5. Try to avoid the situations that provoke it in the first place.

Those are the ones that come to mind, and I’ll explore each in the ensuing weeks. Maybe this won’t be interesting to you, but if there’s a pocket of unwanted thought in your mind that you haven’t yet mastered, this may be a good discussion to be in on. See you soon.